He could give all the children some beer!The turkey did not turn out fine.So I thought I would break out the wine. Oh yeah, except for the she’s and to date her!Īs he sang them their favourite tune!!!!! There is another one which is just as crude, but this time, about a rather well-endowed man. Oh lordy to be a man, natural born Irish! Male Version This poem was not the original dirty Nantucket based limerick. Who liked to eat Irish taters with a fork! Shamrocks or four leaf-clovers are green,Īnd left nothing for the rest of his kin. They say Patrick’s a Norse a Viking of course WHEN SHE HEARD HIM YELL "WATCH OUT FOR THE PUCK" SHE THOUGHT "WOW MY NIGHT'S GONNA BE GOOD" Who had three sons name Matt, Nat and Tat The following Limericks were submitted by friends of The Irish Gift House In fact, you could call him a deep friar! Nmsheart: 1 Anonymous at 3:55 pm In answer toThis is the most infamous dirty limerick: There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could. When the world’s dressed up in their green With green outfits, green hats and green sleeves There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran off with a man, I think this is the oldest attested Nantucket limerick, and I enjoy telling it, if only to enjoy the look of amazed relie. She slipped through the straw and fell in. Answer (1 of 4): There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. He could give all the children some beer!īut her glasses slipped down to her toes. In your heart though you may shed a tear.įor the kid's sake we'll put on some cheer And he cried, "It's been one of those days!" Who was known to indulge in straight Hennessey His pale peers now prefer Ogden Gnashville. Which hockey fans rechristened Smashville, Variation on a classic limerick by Michael R. The Church must have someone to drag through the dirt. Who condemned all non-Christians to hell.Īnd "Hell is for Queers" on the back of his shirt I have even written limericks about religion, mostly heretical limericks: "Ah culd save th’ free world ’cause ah’m purty!"Īll Rights and Violent Shudderings Reserved To show the flexibility of the limerick form, it has often been used for political purposes, and to expose, satirize and savage charlatans. Here's a limerick about one of the universe's greatest ironies: the lack of rhyme words for "poetry" and "limerick." I almost solved the latter, but fell a bit short:Īnd settled on “good old Saint Slimmer Nick” The Trouble with Elephants: a Word to the WiseĪndrew Marvell was far less than Marvellous The Dromedary and the Very Work-Wary Canary There once was a man from Nantucket, He had dick so long he could suck it. He was scraped off the sheets with a spoon. There once was a man from Nantucket, Who kept all of his cash in a bucket, But his daughter. He didnt have the luck to be born by a fuck. Reasons Isaac Asimovs dirty limericks are truly awful. This is another of my scientific limericks …Ī much-needed screed against licentious insects There once was a man from Rangoon, who was born 9 months too soon. Please reserve some time for the contemplation These are limericks of the singular variety … Since their (m)***** increase, gone to seed!įrom heaven, found his home planet burningīut, alas!, poets seem unlikely to save the world from the darkness of human religions: While approaching light speed-not nearly! There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could suck it, He said with a grin, licking cum off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, I would. I was inspired to pen multiple rejoinders:īut mine grow their (m)***** more stilly! I find it intriguing that one of the best revelations of the weirdness and zaniness of relativity can be found in a limerick. I recently learned this poem was originally penned, in a slightly different version, by Arthur Henry Reginald Buller his limerick appeared in Punch (Dec. According to Wikipedia, the first published example goes like this: There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a. This famous limerick inspired my Einstein “relative” limericks: For the record, there are clean versions of the limerick as well. Not all double limericks are light affairs …Īnd a smile that brightens her dorm. He'll wig out 'neath that weird orange fez! Toupée or Not Toupée, That is the Question This is another double limerick with separate titles … The next two poems form a double limerick with separate titles … He’s awkward and stinks! Sense his smellican!Īnd his breath reeks of fish, I can tellican! There once was a man from Nantucket, Who kept all his cash in a bucket, But his daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. Though I’m ****** if I know how the helican! I once provided the second stanza to a famous limerick, turning it into a double limerick … Since he’s plagiarized Unknown, I’ll wager!
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